Friday 2 October 2009

#FridayFlash: Puma and Jaguar Save the Planet

by Maria Protopapadaki-Smith


Rushka, Galactic Overlord of the Kharsh Group, Commander of the Luarrh Nebulae, Honorary High Pontiff of the Moons of Aramis and would-be conqueror of Planet Earth, stood cornered with a small armoury of laser guns pointed at his chest and head. He hadn't expected this insignificant, isolated planet to produce any resistance worth worrying about. Earth's technology was inferior - humans had not even managed to get as far as the edge of their own solar system, for Marrh's sake! He observed his nemeses in disbelief: not an army, not a battalion, not even a platoon. Two Earthlings - two!


The call had come directly from the top. As soon as the enemy battleship had declared its intentions and advised immediate surrender, the President had ordered his generals to assess the situation and prepare for war. He had then disappeared into his private quarters, demanding that nobody disturb him. In the bathroom, he had uncovered the hidden cabinet and brought out the red and blue telephone that it housed. The army would be slow in responding; its sheer size was against it. Time was very much of the essence - he had known his only option would be to engage his most secret of weapons. He had made the call.

Special Agents Puma and Jaguar had raced to their ship's  hangar. It was a unique vessel, designed by the agents themselves. It was not much to look at and was slower than most ships its age, but it was the only ship on Earth that could avoid detection - not only by radar but also by sight. Jaguar, never one to pass up an opportunity for fart humour, had insisted that they name it Silent Creeper. Puma had eventually acquiesced because the name itself had a good ring to it, if one simply ignored Jaguar's puerility. As with all such things, it wasn't long before they had taken to referring to it, fondly, as Creepy, which had rendered the argument moot.

They boarded the battleship unseen and proceeded to cause havoc for the enemy - incapacitating grenades were deployed, rendering clusters of enemy soldiers unable to move; machinery was sabotaged; sentries were knocked unconscious with laser gun butts. Puma and Jaguar continued inexorably to the enemy leader's inner sanctum, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. The goons at the door were no match for the agents' wile; the Overlord's quarters were breached and his security detail gunned down. Rushka tried to make a dash for the servants' exit, but Puma was too quick for him. He now had nowhere to go.

"Looks like Earth is not the one that needs to surrender", said Puma.
"Call off your army - or die", said Jaguar.

The Overlord's face turned a deeper green. There was nothing he could do but admit defeat.
"Fine", he said, petulantly. "You have won this battle. I surrend-"

"Annabel! Maria!"
Special Agents Puma and Jaguar watched in dismay as the Overlord's quarters were engulfed by sunshine and lawn. Their arch-enemy himself had been enveloped by a disgruntled tree ("those sticks they're brandishing at me have probably come from my own trunk, too - the cheek of it").

"I guess your Mum's come to pick you up", sighed Puma
"Mmmm", said Jaguar. They rested their weapons on the tree and walked towards the house, as slowly as possible.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow."
The secret handshake officially marked the end of yet another successful mission.

29 comments:

  1. I love the sudden turning off of the imaginary world.

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  2. Hahah. There is nothing on earth that can win against two agents riding to the rescue on Creepy!

    Loved it.

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  3. Boys having fun. Great landing on the return to normal. Loved the 'engulfed by sunshine and lawn.' Isn't it wild the way the physical world peels away when deep into our imaginations? Peace, Linda

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  4. Thanks folks :)
    Linda - "Boys having fun" - are you sure? ;-)

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  5. Loved this voyage into very vivid imagination. The return to reality was excellent. :)

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  6. first off, i love the names in this piece especially the interplanetary ones. great pacing and such a fun and spot on payoff. you've captured the playfulness of youth. great write, mazzz

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  7. I totally pictured them as girls. Probably because just about any story that started in our house with the words "galactic overlord" was then painstakingly rendered in chalk in the driveway and only interrupted for snacks or bathroom breaks.... [or rain] but then we took it inside and made spaceships out of the furniture instead. Grinned all the way through.
    Thanks!
    Karen :0)

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  8. Sweet and surpising. Very well done. The line 'engulfed by sunshine and lawn' is beautful and the final line brought a smile to my face... also having the protagonists as little girls was a very nice touch.

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  9. Great interrupt! The fully manufactured world was great.

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  10. The Galactic Overlord strikes again! This was great - loved how reality swallowed the imaginary.

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  11. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face. I like everything about this story. It reminds me of my girls playing. Loved the tree's thoughts too.
    ~chris

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  12. Thanks everyone :)
    Chris - the tree was very much an indulgence and probably shouldn't be in there, but I'm glad someone liked it!

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  13. Loved the playfulness of this, showcasing the power of imagination.

    The interjection of the disgruntled tree towards the end was a lovely flourish that epahsizes the feel and theme of this. It totally should be there, Mazz. Take it out and you will have a disgruntled reader on your hands.

    Top stuff.

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  14. Cute, most assuredly. Reminds me when I was younger. I'd go into detail, but then you'd seriously question my sanity. And my sanity is already questionable enough as is!

    I do have one small, teeny, tiny little criticism. The overall story handles everything perfectly well, with the exception of the first line. If I tell you that I had a character that was "God of All Evil and Chaos, Lord of the Demonic Legions of Hell, and Bringer of Death to the Living," on the first line, well... It loses something.

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  15. I wrote a piece once attempting to complete it without indicating gender -- it was so difficult! Kudos to you for pulling it off so seamlessly.


    Excellent piece, flawlessly executed. I'm still smiling :)

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  16. now that was FUN! I used to do the same thing with my friends as a kid, i love it! Though we were always exploring the mysterious Planet X *lol* Great job!

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  17. Great story here, Maria. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I was beginning to question the apparent ease these two special agents had in taking the battleship and then viola, all was explained! It was great. And I finally got to meet the Galatic Overlord!
    ~jon

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  18. clap clap clap!!!! You've got one heck of an imagination to be able to bring back the feeling of childhood like this. I think it will take the mind of a child to save this planet :-) Thanks for the happy moment, great story.

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  19. Awesome flash. I loved the 'deeper shade of green' - so clever! I thought they were girls too! Totally over the top and fabulous. I enjoyed the fart humour too :)

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  20. I really liked it! It was a nice reminder of childhood games.

    Hmm...I had guessed that Jaguar was a boy and Puma was a girl.

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  21. Fantastic game AND a fart joke! What could be more fun?

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  22. Great way to pull this back to true humanity -- it's universal for kids to play fantasy games like this. Nicely done.

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  23. Charming.

    I noticed no mention of gender of the two agents until their (alternate) names were called towards the end of the story. Nicely done.

    I want more adventures!

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  24. Reminds me of being a child myself. I still am in many aspects of the mind. Thank you for such a charming tale.

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  25. *commenter doing sci-fi happy dance*
    Capital L-O-V-E-D, loved this piece. Great detail, pacing, and the fart joke was a subtle but not disengaging hint that this might involve child's play.

    The tree works just fine as a jump-cut and re-orientation to the reality portion of the story.

    You've made me a little jealous that weren't any imaginative sci-fi girls around when I was a geeky young lad...

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  26. Excellent! I thought for sure this was a full-blown sci-fi adventure right to the very end. Well done!

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  27. That was delightful, M - and I totally thought that they were girls, as soon as I realized they were children. (probably because when I was a girl, I was panther and my sister was snow leopard) I'm with D - save the tree! leave that bit in, because it worked, at least for me! Nice work!

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  28. I was drawn immediately into this engrossing story! It was almost, dare I say it, like I was viewing an alter-ego or something. So much fun. Thank you for writing this.

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