Thursday 8 October 2009

#FridayFlash: Late Bloomer

by Maria Protopapadaki-Smith

Gods do not always beget gods. It is rare, but sometimes it happens that the union of two perfectly ordinary gods can result in a mortal child. I fear I might be such a child. I am 14 - not far from 15, in fact - but my back is still bare. A few months ago there was another in my group of peers who had not sprouted yet either, so no one was worried. Late bloomers, they called us. It will come, they said. You will sprout when you least expect it, they promised. But my back is still bare.


I sit with the rest of the boys as I always do, but it is now beginning to be awkward. Their jokes about my tardiness stopped not long after Tarian finally proved himself immortal; no one jostles me any more in our friendly scuffles for fear of touching my smooth back. Still, we remain friends. There will likely come a time soon when the adults will force the divide upon us, but until then I savour the company of the boys I have grown up with.

We sit in the Courtyard, a little removed from the hustle and bustle of the mortals tending to immortals' needs, and I see her walking past. She smiles at me; she does not need to bow before me - I have the status of a mortal as I have not yet sprouted. She curtsies to the rest of the group as is proper and wanders over to the market stalls. Her name is Estria and she is my mother's handmaid.

We found out at the last midsummer fair that she is a remarkably talented archer, not only for a mortal but even by immortal standards; since then, at my mother's insistence she discarded some of her handmaid duties in favour of instructing me in the art of the bow and arrow. She is my age and yesterday, as she was helping me adjust my elbow for a shot, she overwelmed me with the warmth of her breath against my ear and the yielding breast that brushed against my arm. Whether my time in the world be finite or not, it is a moment I will remember for all of it. I have all the other stirrings you see - all except the one that I so anxiously wait for.

She makes her way around the stalls, picking up delicacies for my mother, smiling at all those fortunate enough to cross her path. I watch her make her way back across from the market, the sunlight dancing with the myriad of hues in her hair - but my reverie is cut short by the sight of the hateful Campian crossing the Courtyard.

He was, to the annoyance of all of us, the first of our peer group to sprout. He is the kind of boy that takes pleasure in others' discomfort - he is the only one who still brings attention to my unadorned back by making scathing jokes. Since he can no longer lord it over the others as they too have now almost fully sprouted, he makes me the butt of his jokes with unfailing regularity. The others have started shouting him down about it though, so he needs to find new ways to torture me. He has seen how I look at Estria and now has the fodder he needs. He prances up to her and grabs her by the waist; he moves his other hand inappropriately over her body. She is terrified, but can do nothing - he is a god after all and she but a mortal.

I run across the Courtyard propelled as much by rage as by the twin bursts of pain shooting from my back. As I run my shoulderblades are on fire and by the time I reach Campian I am almost fully sprouted - this is unheard of, and will be talked of for generations, but for now my only concern is the girl. I grab hold of Campian's throat and squeeze. He releases Estria and turns meek and apologetic at the sight of the stormcloud in my face. I push him away and turn to Estria, thrown off balance by my new appendages. I realise that this is only one of many things I will have to get used to: I watch in despair as she averts her gaze from mine and curtsies respectfully from behind the barrier that has suddenly been brought up between us - and all that I want is to be mortal again.

35 comments:

  1. How bittersweet... Can't he have her anyway? Come on - you're the author. :) Great story about coming of age rituals.

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  2. Sweet story. Why must there always be losses when we gain? The rules apply to us all, mortal or not.

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  3. A cool world you built here. That last line is heartbreaking.
    ~chris

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  4. That was really touching. Are there always sacrifices? that sucks dosen't it. Is having it all impossible?

    I enjoyed this story.

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  5. well done and oh so fluidly told. never disappointed here.

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  6. Awww...reminds me of when I became a god. *cough*

    Very well done!

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  7. That's it.

    I'm now your fan for life.

    Keep the stories coming.


    (And did you ever notice love stories where wings are involved never seem to go well?)

    Seriously tho, my socks are rocked.

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  8. Super story. Love your version of coming of age. A loss, yes... but that is what becoming 'adult' is all about. Love your voice, true to the character... Peace, Linda

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  9. That was beautiful - well written and perfectly executed. Love it. When's the book and film coming out? 'Trials of a teenage god'/' Olympus High School Musical'?

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  10. Wow, wonderfully done. To turn your main character's stregnth into his enemy in such a short tale shows your talent as a writer. I hope you'll continue this storyline. Enjoyed it very much!

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  11. Seconding Linda - you found a beautiful voice for this character. A wonderful piece of writing and so beautiful.

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  12. Even with the inconvenience of wings and the "barriers" of mortals and immortals in place, I don't think I would ever "regret" becoming a god/immortal. Of course, I'm also lucky enough to have a girl that'd think it was awesome instead of a curse/burden.

    I do like the series of events and the timing. You do not spend too much time on any single spot, but move swiftly from one point to the next with a pacing that never slows. That is a very difficult feat to accomplish in short writing. Most folks get bogged down in the details. I know I did on my first few!

    Wonder what would have happened if the bully had not stopped though. I wanna see an immortal/god battle over a mortal! ... Of course, I guess I could just read some Greek Tragedies if I wanted that, huh? ;)

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  13. This character appears to have sprouted fully formed into a bright and daring existence just as his wings sprouted with such pace. Truly wonderful world and main character. The last line, as others have said, is heart-breaking. I would pay to read more of this world and this character. I really hope you do something more with this creation as it seems too well crafted to just leave here. This goes straight into my top ten favourite #fridayflash pieces.

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  14. A beautifully told story that reads as if it must go on and continue to tell the story of these characters. Well done.

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  15. I don't think something so lovely needs to be taken any further. You don't want to risk ruining the impact of that last line, after all, do you?

    Excellent work, anyway.

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  16. Aw, I really liked this. Is this going to be a continuing work? I want so badly for him to get the girl!

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  17. Wow. This was a beautifully told story. So engaging and so bittersweet. I absolutely love the last line. Fabulous Flash.

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  18. Puberty, oh how I miss thee - NOT!

    Oh, how I wish it had come with wings rather than pimples and awkward moments. My morning commute would be so much faster.

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  19. Wow, very nice. Great coming of age story, even if it is bittersweet for the main character. Hopefully he can convince her that she doesn't have to view him with the reverence of all other gods. Or, maybe since he's a god, he can find a way to turn her into one. Or at least a demi-god.

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  20. An excellent read. In order to have what we want most, we must surrender our ability to posess it. Perhaps that was not entirely your point, but I related to it.

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  21. *claps loudly and sniffles*

    It's been a long time since I had goosebumps after reading anything...let alone a flash piece. I'll echo Dan and say I hope you make this into a novel.

    brava brava brava.....!!!

    Karen :0)

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  22. I'm invested in your characters now. I wonder, why can he not have her? Seems like a great obstacle to overcome. I would love to know more!

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  23. Perfect. So well crafted and beautifully told. I'm in the minority, I suppose, in that I think it is grand as a stand alone piece of flash. Not that I would not read further development, but I think part of the beauty of good flash is that it leaves the reader wondering and wishing and thinking while still fully satisfied. This does all that. Nice work.
    ~jon

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  24. This was so bittersweet. He gets something he wants only to lose someone special to him. What a perfect tale for #fridayflash.

    Thank you for telling it.

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  25. Wonderful tale, well-told. This was a fun read.

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  26. Poor guy/god! The effects of desire are interesting. It reminds me of the stories in LeGuin's "Changing Planes."

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  27. What a confusion of emotions that time is - beautifully brought out in this story. And the helpless longing to be what you are not - that can flip from one state to another in an instant.

    This is very well told. Well done.

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  28. This is beautiful and complex and compelling. Congratulations

    Barb

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  29. Life is cruel, isn't it? Well done.

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  30. Wonderful concept for a story, the waiting on the sprouting like for puberty and the fellowship of the boys. And, of course, the hearbreak at the end. Surely, as a god, he has the power to try and become mortal. Do I feel a follow-up story coming? I hope so.

    Jeff Posey

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  31. Deeply sad. I hope he finds a way to transgress the boundary between god and mortal.

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  32. This was a perfect render. Sorrow, joy, and reality.

    I stand in awe.

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  33. Wow, this was really lovely and sad!

    But what are the appendages? Are they wings?

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