tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post2557657362405900110..comments2023-04-02T16:11:34.370+01:00Comments on Mazzz in Leeds: #FridayFlash: First Placemazzz_in_Leedshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01498100483681096442noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-84982368549945308612009-11-12T07:46:30.237+00:002009-11-12T07:46:30.237+00:00Great use of pace and structure to control the rea...Great use of pace and structure to control the reader's expectations and emotions. You can't help but root for your narrator. Nice use of the commentary to build tension too. Really enjoyable read.dan powellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14131553102349479513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-66085569031691193362009-11-09T19:10:23.788+00:002009-11-09T19:10:23.788+00:00A great message to not give up even when it looks ...A great message to not give up even when it looks like everything is stacked against you. And even if you don't win, good things can still happen. Great story!Eric J. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05774468607814244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-87536078505211705222009-11-09T18:49:29.543+00:002009-11-09T18:49:29.543+00:00Aww yay! Happy ending :D
I really love the little...Aww yay! Happy ending :D<br /><br />I really love the little details of the worlds you portray each week that are merely hinted at.Danahttp://pixelenvy.ca/cgi/fff.cginoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-85798293888964790532009-11-08T16:04:32.184+00:002009-11-08T16:04:32.184+00:00Another great read with a lot of heart.Another great read with a lot of heart.Mark Kerstetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307987573435067415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-21023166429398222362009-11-07T21:21:10.374+00:002009-11-07T21:21:10.374+00:00Not only a great story but an entire world in just...Not only a great story but an entire world in just a few pages. Great stuff.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09492062472206579391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-74618739040736530622009-11-07T15:16:06.308+00:002009-11-07T15:16:06.308+00:00Nice story, tight writing, I liked the unpredictab...Nice story, tight writing, I liked the unpredictable yet satisfying ending.Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17777178044868827470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-4612192679077817842009-11-07T11:59:18.155+00:002009-11-07T11:59:18.155+00:00Nicely assembled story. I actually moved to the ed...Nicely assembled story. I actually moved to the edge of my seat. Thanks for that ending.Donald Conradhttp://flashtold.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-40910835404566828332009-11-07T03:31:03.904+00:002009-11-07T03:31:03.904+00:00Great story. His feelings really came through and...Great story. His feelings really came through and the reace scene was very well done.<br /><br />"...to receive our loser's metal." Great line. Great piece.<br />~chrisChris Chartrandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09766438158698041660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-17927827795921889362009-11-07T02:06:16.894+00:002009-11-07T02:06:16.894+00:00Another sweet story. I love these characters you p...Another sweet story. I love these characters you paint. Peace, LindaLindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-25083251023907755342009-11-06T23:30:10.243+00:002009-11-06T23:30:10.243+00:00There's nothing like a day at the races! Fun s...There's nothing like a day at the races! Fun story and I like the payoff at the end.~Timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06774944172261988587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-73477390282005594272009-11-06T21:29:21.466+00:002009-11-06T21:29:21.466+00:00A nice tale. Great description throughout, and yo...A nice tale. Great description throughout, and you easily convince the reader of this world and what's in it.Christian Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03160609304010597116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-43125458304810869452009-11-06T20:53:04.055+00:002009-11-06T20:53:04.055+00:00Oh how nice, he did get to dance with the princess...Oh how nice, he did get to dance with the princess :) Beautiful story, certainly reminds me of the stories my grandfather read to me when I was little, although those didn't have elephants :PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-61116672580335165922009-11-06T19:48:15.336+00:002009-11-06T19:48:15.336+00:00I love Squibs!I love Squibs!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10076907555584959149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-49602429424897311692009-11-06T16:47:45.906+00:002009-11-06T16:47:45.906+00:00That was a great way to mess with our heads. So mu...That was a great way to mess with our heads. So much more real that he did not win, and so much more satisfying when he really did win in the end.<br />~jonJ. M. Strotherhttp://jmstrother.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-14908159018363816072009-11-06T16:35:55.498+00:002009-11-06T16:35:55.498+00:00Awe, sweet Squibs! Such gentle creatures, I love e...Awe, sweet Squibs! Such gentle creatures, I love elephants. I guess the gods were smiling down on them. Wonderful story!shannon espositohttp://murderinparadise.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-25075339164695805862009-11-06T15:06:12.650+00:002009-11-06T15:06:12.650+00:00I too love elephants and could easily envision you...I too love elephants and could easily envision your highly entertaining race. Loved the elephant's names and was so glad in the end that the young romantic got to dance with the princess!<br />Karen :0)Karen from Mentorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03685540761526680384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-8423023176758340222009-11-06T14:41:55.456+00:002009-11-06T14:41:55.456+00:00You had my heart pounding throughout. I was so roo...You had my heart pounding throughout. I was so rooting for Squibs that I startled myself with the "oh no!" that escaped me when they lost the race. I'm so glad you amended that and gave them the prize. <br />Super storytelling! <br /><br />Funny - I read "looked into my beast's eyes" as "looked into my breast's eyes". Until I reread, I thought we were in for another feast. :)Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-62571425651974621322009-11-06T14:10:12.578+00:002009-11-06T14:10:12.578+00:00"Kept my eyes glued to the screen" is a ..."Kept my eyes glued to the screen" is a cliche, but that's what I did as I read. I love how you take the "exotic" (not many of us watch elephants racing!) and link it to emotions many of us can identify with. The description is great--of scenes and the main character's emotions. Also loved the tension of the race. Oh--and "Squibs" is such a great name for an elephant!Melissahttp://windspirit-girl.livejournal.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-3922860463426393132009-11-06T12:42:19.033+00:002009-11-06T12:42:19.033+00:00The visual of sprinting elephants pleases me to no...The visual of sprinting elephants pleases me to no end. I've always loved the naming convention for race horses, and it's used to good effect here.trevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10930957143736509429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-31170633561182137552009-11-06T11:44:54.435+00:002009-11-06T11:44:54.435+00:00Loved the tension in the race, and the resolution ...Loved the tension in the race, and the resolution with the "consolation prize". Nicely done.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-68367520263632171582009-11-06T11:31:17.492+00:002009-11-06T11:31:17.492+00:00This is fine stroytelling. I saw the whole race un...This is fine stroytelling. I saw the whole race unfold as I read it. Well done.Michael Solenderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01120045114297450520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-19640899672145074912009-11-06T01:06:25.990+00:002009-11-06T01:06:25.990+00:00Losing the race, winning the dance with the Prince...Losing the race, winning the dance with the Princess, yay! The Great Lady of the Eastern Plains was certainly listening.<br /><br />Love the names you've given the elephants!Marisa Birnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-43608578170740186682009-11-06T00:59:18.992+00:002009-11-06T00:59:18.992+00:00Fantastic flash! Love the Great Lady of the Easter...Fantastic flash! Love the Great Lady of the Eastern Plains. Love the names you gave the elephants - it was the Melbourne Cup horse race here this week, so this was an excellent nod to current events for me!Lily Mulhollandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09804113718224654006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-50912657286205653262009-11-06T00:37:36.501+00:002009-11-06T00:37:36.501+00:00I actually shouted and applauded, I'm not asha...I actually shouted and applauded, I'm not ashamed to admit it! A very nice story.TaunaLenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01071357150569819859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3870850419068808621.post-71015481538212641682009-11-05T23:08:28.226+00:002009-11-05T23:08:28.226+00:00Great depiction of elephants and racing. I could e...Great depiction of elephants and racing. I could envision the lumbering beasts and the ears flapping. You gave the elephant great personality. I also happen to love elephants.Carrie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05093923008179106837noreply@blogger.com